To celebrate the Immortal Perfect Rocket Glory Leadership of chubby dictator slug Kim Jung-un, North Korea threw itself a parade today. Unlike, say, the Thanksgiving Day Parade, this one was mostly goose-stepping soldiers and new weapons, including a fat new ICBM.
Right on the heels of its primetime rocket disaster, the parade was perfectly timed: guys, forget about that time we briefly threatened the world with a giant rocket. Check out this new giant rocket. It’ll totally work, and should be taken seriously, and will cause our backwards caveman society to prevail against the evil West. Or, as Kim Jung-un reassuringly put it: “What we trust is not modern weapons, but our beloved soldiers and commanders.” Wait, Kim, that’s not how you scare people. Talk about this terrifying new mega-rocket you’re wheeling around at the parade! Fox News sure took note:
This rocket and the accompanying “drone” also on display may or may not be made out of paper mache and filled with sawdust.